The University at Buffalo's Unofficial Response to David Letterman's Tribute to UB

BUFFALO, N.Y. -- When late-night talk show host David Letterman tossed a few jabs at the University at Buffalo following the Bulls' Dec. 5 Mid-American Conference football championship victory over Dave's alma mater Ball State, UB officials convened and responded in a fashion befitting a flagship institution of the State University of New York and one of the nation's prominent public research universities:

Our own Top 10 List.

Why you wouldn't want David Letterman rooting for your football team:

10. The infamous "Late Show With David Letterman" Wide-Right Curse.

9. He'll ask your team mascot to do stupid pet tricks.

8. Biff Henderson demands to be nation's oldest walk-on.

7. Dave will require that your quarterback throw footballs into the window of a moving Manhattan taxicab.

6. Who would want to leave all that beautiful Western New York weather to go on a national television show?

5. He'll start posting rah-rah messages about your team on his Twitter site, alongside the rest of his weird -- and we mean weird -- stuff.

4. Dave's constant nagging for free tickets for his posse.

3. Leno will book your opponent on his new 10 p.m. show.

2. Paul Shaffer in a cheerleading skirt and pompoms.

1. Dave can't spell BCS.

By the way, Dave, we're the University AT Buffalo.

The University at Buffalo is a premier research-intensive public university, a flagship institution in the State University of New York system and its largest and most comprehensive campus. UB's more than 28,000 students pursue their academic interests through more than 300 undergraduate, graduate and professional degree programs. Founded in 1846, the University at Buffalo is a member of the Association of American Universities.