Close Up
Take that, Dave: UB’s Top 10 List
When late-night talk show host David Letterman tossed a few jabs at UB following the Bulls’ Dec. 5 Mid-American Conference football championship victory over Dave’s alma mater, Ball State, UB officials convened and responded in a fashion befitting a flagship institution of SUNY and one of the nation’s prominent public research universities:
Our own Top 10 List.
Why you wouldn’t want David Letterman rooting for your football team:
10. The infamous “Late Show With David Letterman” Wide-Right Curse.
9. He’ll ask your team mascot to do stupid pet tricks.
8. Biff Henderson demands to be nation’s oldest walk-on.
7. Dave will demand your quarterback throw footballs into the window of a moving Manhattan taxicab.
6. Who would want to leave all that beautiful Western New York weather to go on a national television show?
5. He’ll start posting rah-rah messages about your team on his Twitter site, alongside the rest of his weird—and we mean weird—stuff.
4. Dave’s constant nagging for free tickets for his posse.
3. Leno will book your opponent on his new 10 p.m. show.
2. Paul Shaffer in a cheerleading skirt and pompoms.
1. Dave can’t spell BCS.
By the way, Dave, we’re the University AT Buffalo.
Reader Comments