Letters

TO THE EDITOR:

FOLLOWING IS A LETTER WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO INCLUDE IN THE NEXT EDITION OF THE REPORTER.

TO ALL MEMBERS OF THE UB COMMUNITY:

SEXUAL ASSAULT, SEXUAL ABUSE, SEXUAL HARASSMENT, STRANGER RAPE AND DATE OR ACQUAINTANCE RAPE, ARE MONUMENTAL PROBLEMS FOR OUR SOCIETY. UNFORTUNATELY, COLLEGE CAMPUSES ARE NOT INSULATED FROM THESE HARSH REALITIES. IT IS HIGHLY LIKELY THAT AS A MEMBER OF A COLLEGE CAMPUS COMMUNITY, YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS OR WILL BE A SURVIVOR OF RAPE. AS WE FACE THIS PROBLEM, THERE ARE IMPORTANT STEPS WE CAN TAKE TO ASSIST SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN VICTIMIZED. IF A WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN RAPED, HARASSED, OR ABUSED CHOOSES TO COME TO YOU, AS A FRIEND, FOR SUPPORT AND ASSISTANCE THERE IS MUCH YOU CAN DO TO HELP.

LISTEN:

  • ALLOW HER TO EXPRESS HER FEELINGS WITHOUT INTERRUPTION.

  • BE PATIENT WITH SILENCES AS SHE MAY BE SLOW IN TALKING.

  • IF SHE NEEDS HELP CONTINUING, TRY REPEATING BACK WHAT SHE HAS SAID.

    BE REASSURING:

  • BELIEVE HER! A GREAT FEAR OF SURVIVORS IS THAT THEY WILL NOT BE BELIEVED.

  • REINFORCE THAT THE RAPE WAS NOT HER FAULT, NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

  • COMFORT HER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE VERBALLY.

  • BEWARE OF PHYSICAL CONTACT AS SHE MAY NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED, BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS ASK IF YOU CAN HUG HER (DON'T TREAT HER AS IF SHE IS CONTAGIOUS).

  • PROVIDE THINGS THAT MAKE HER FEEL WARM AND SAFE-A BLANKET, A STUFFED ANIMAL, HOT TEA.

  • MAKE SURE SHE HAS A SAFE PLACE TO SLEEP THAT NIGHT.

  • DO NOT TALK ABOUT GETTING REVENGE; FOCUS YOUR ENERGY ON HER AND HER FEELINGS.

    ENCOURAGE HER TO SEEK HELP:

  • CALL CRISIS SERVICES HOTLINE FOR PROFESSIONAL GUIDANCE (834-3131).

  • GO WITH HER FOR A MEDICAL EXAMINATION IMMEDIATELY-CONTACT CENTER FOR STUDENT HEALTH (829-3316).

  • TO PRESERVE EVIDENCE, DISCOURAGE HER FROM CHANGING HER CLOTHES OR TAKING A SHOWER.

  • HELP HER GET COUNSELING TO WORK THROUGH THE TRAUMA (EVEN IF THE RAPE OCCURRED SOME TIME AGO, BUT SHE STILL HAS NOT WORKED THROUGH IT).

  • LET HER MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS! YOU CAN HELP HER WORK THROUGH HER THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS, BUT IT IS IMPORTANT THAT SHE HAS CONTROL OVER HER LIFE AND HER RECOVERY; SUPPORT HER IN WHATEVER SHE DECIDES TO DO OR NOT DO, EVEN IF YOU DISAGREE.

  • CALL SEXUAL ASSAULT INFORMATION LINE (645-3411) FOR OPTIONS IN REPORTING AND RESOURCES AVAILABLE.

    PROVIDE ONGOING SUPPORT:

  • BE AVAILABLE THROUGHOUT THE NEXT WEEKS AND MONTHS-RECOVERY TAKES MUCH TIME.

  • LEARN ABOUT RAPE TRAUMA SYNDROME (FROM THE CRISIS SERVICES HOTLINE OR THE COUNSELING CENTER) SO THAT YOU KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT AND CAN UNDERSTAND HER REACTIONS BETTER.

  • RESPECT HER RIGHTS TO PRIVACY AND DO NOT TELL OTHERS OF THE RAPE WITHOUT HER CONSENT.

    FOR YOURSELF:

  • SEEK SUPPORT FOR YOURSELF TO WORK THROUGH THIS; IT IS NATURAL TO FEEL GREAT STRESS WHEN SUPPORTING A RAPE SURVIVOR-TALK TO SOMEONE "SAFE" (COUNSELOR, FRIEND AT ANOTHER SCHOOL, PARENT) ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND NEEDS.

    RAPE, ABUSE, AND HARASSMENT ARE COMMUNITY PROBLEMS THAT CAN ONLY BE DIMINISHED IF OUR COMMUNITY STANDS TOGETHER TO SUPPORT THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN VICTIMIZED.

    YOURS TRULY,

    THE STAFF OF THE COUNSELING CENTER

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