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Toby Shapiro is parent program coordinator in the Office of New Student Programs.
What services does Parent Programs, located in the Office of New Student Programs, offer to parents of UB undergraduates?
Parent Programs serves as a resource to help parents of UB undergraduates establish an effective, long-term support system for their students. Parent Programs seeks to develop a committed, active partnership among parents, students and the university. This alliance begins with Parent and Family Orientation, a comprehensive, developmentally focused program for parents and family members of incoming freshmen and transfer students that is designed to connect parents to the university and to introduce them to campus resources, policies and procedures. The alliance continues throughout each student's undergraduate years at UB with a variety of other services, among them The Anchor, (http://www.student-affairs.buffalo.edu/nsp/anchor.shtml), a semiannual newsletter that provides parents with news and updates on campus life; the "UB Parent Guide" (http://www.student-affairs.buffalo.edu/nsp/guide.shtml), a detailed handbook of campus resources, policies and procedures; and the parent Web site (http://www.parent.buffalo.edu/parent.shtml), which provides resources and other information of interest to parents of UB undergraduates. Parent Programs also operates a Parent Advisory Service. At one time or another, many students experience personal and/or academic difficulties. To assist parents in helping their students find solutions to problems, the Parent Advisory Service offers a single, easily accessible point of contact for parents to ask questions and air concerns. This service, which is accessible either by telephone or email, provides parents with advice, referrals and options. It is not designed for parents or university personnel to solve a student's problems. The intent is to help the student develop his/her own critical-thinking and problem-solving skills by providing the parent with the name and contact information of a professional in the appropriate university department who can offer guidance and work with the student to help remedy the particular situation.
What is the UB Parent Association?
The UB Parent Association has only been in existence for three years, yet it already numbers 1,300 members and counting. Members of the Parent Association are kept up to date on happenings in the UB community, including sporting events, workshops, concerts and distinguished speakers. Through regular emails, parents are informed about community-service events, student-leadership opportunities, counseling services and academic tutorial help. Parents self-enroll in the Parent Association by visiting www.parent.buffalo.edu. For additional information about the UB Parent Association, contact Jamia Danzy at jldanzy@buffalo.edu.
What are the most frequent questions you get from parents?
Very often, students' perceptions of university life are not completely accurate and they go through a transition period as they adjust to a new, unfamiliar environment. The most frequent questions from parents of first-semester freshmen and transfer students generally revolve around transition issues. As students seek confirmation from their parents that everything will turn out OK, parents often have questions concerning their students' adjustment to college life. Typical questions involve homesickness, academics, handling independence and making friends. Questions from parents of returning or upper-division students often pertain to academic issues—i.e., students who are in academic difficulty, perhaps due to poor time management and/or study skills, along with students whose transition issues were never fully resolved early in their UB experience. In some cases, the parent was aware that the student was not doing well and has been trying to help the student; in other instances, the student did not tell the parent until he or she was placed on academic probation. The latter scenario is difficult because the family is not only in crisis mode, but the parent is suddenly aware that there has been a lack of communication between the student and parent.
What one piece of advice would you give to parents before their son or daughter starts at UB?
It is difficult to select one piece of advice, so I am offering three suggestions for parents of incoming college students:
Don't try to solve your students' problems for them. Instead, help them become responsibly independent by encouraging them to develop essential critical-thinking and problem-solving skills that will provide them with the lifelong tools and competencies that they need to succeed, both during the college years and beyond.
Keep the lines of communication open between you and your student. Initiate periodic, nonjudgmental, open-ended discussions with your student. Impart the message that, while you want to hear about the positive aspects of college life, it is also OK for your student to share negative news and concerns with you and that you will be supportive, regardless of the situation.
Familiarize yourself with on-campus resources and encourage your student to seek them out.
What's the most important thing a student should know before he or she starts at UB?
I think the most important message to convey to students is that UB offers a very supportive environment, but that it is up to students to seek out and avail themselves of essential campus resources. It is important for students to learn to self-advocate. One support service that entering college students do not always take advantage of is faculty office hours. Because most coursework builds on initial material, if a student waits to seek assistance from his/her professor(s), any problems that the student is having typically intensify, thereby making them much harder to resolve.
What question do you wish I had asked and how would you have answered it?
You did not ask about the role that technology plays in helping students develop essential skills and competencies. With cell phones, text messaging and IM (instant messaging), it is easy for students and parents to stay in touch with one another, which can be both positive and negative. The positive side of technology is that it gives students and parents convenient vehicles for ongoing communication. However, the negative aspect is that students sometimes contact a parent before they have taken the time to thoroughly and properly analyze a problem and, instead, ask the parent to resolve it for them. Unfortunately, when this happens, the only lesson the student learns is "if I contact mom or dad, they'll fix whatever is bothering me." When parents serve as their students' problem solvers, it may temporarily provide a quick fix for a particular situation, but in the long run, the students are impeded from developing the essential critical-thinking and problem-solving skills that they need to become responsibly independent young adults.